What if you could LOVE your life?

There’s a lot of noise out there on how to love your life. I call it noise because the advice I’ve discovered isn’t based on a shared understanding of what it means to love your life.  No one’s asking the question, “What’s not to love?” and listening for the deeper, honest answers that reflect what’s not working, what’s causing pain or what’s distracting from a deeper connection with life.

Much of the advice on building a life you love comes with a “to-do” list that makes it sound as if you’re not busy enough, so that’s why you’re unhappy (or not loving your life). And that’s fine, if boredom is your problem, but for many people that’s not the issue.

The phrase "love your life" sits in neon lights over the top of a multi-colored, striped background

Most of the people I know (and certainly all the caregivers I’ve ever met) have no lack of DOING in their lives. They don’t need someone adding to their daily duties or thinking up more activities for them to engage in. The chores may not be the most exciting or inspiring, but they have plenty to do.  Their challenge comes from BEING – being still, being quiet, being satisfied and sometimes, finding time to simply be alone!

So, if we want to Love our Life (the life we have, not someone else’s life, or some imaginary “perfect” life) I believe the path begins with that place of BEING.  How willing are you to simply “BE” with the realities of the life you have crafted to date?

Oh yes, I said “crafted” because, the life we have (as adults) is the one we’ve made for ourselves. Our decisions, choices, beliefs, opportunities and adversities have shaped us and we find ourselves with a set of circumstances that either serve us (they make us happy, satisfied, able to say, I love my lifeor they don’t. 

Let’s unpack that a bit. . .

  • Decisions – decisions demonstrate that we have agency; We are thinking, acting individuals who encounter the world and move forward either decisively or by default – either way, we’re making decisions every day.  Some of those are what are called a priori decisions. Those are the big ones that determine the course of action at key junctures in our lives – whether to marry (and whom), whether to pursue education, whether to relocate, whether to take certain risks.  Any of those big decisions can set us on a path that is difficult (but not impossible) to change later.
  • Choices – these are the smaller, either-or sort of actions we take.  Shall we study for the exam, or party with our friends? Stay up and bake cupcakes for the grade-school event, or stop at the bakery in the morning? Splurge on a big vacation or plan a more cost-effective stay-cation instead?  We make these decisions all the time and they leave us satisfied with our choices, or dissatisfied because we don’t like the outcomes they create.
  • Beliefs – these are the myriad tenets we cling to that help weave the web of our lives.  Some of our beliefs empower us and move us forward toward aspirations, achievements and new opportunities. But other beliefs limit us and keep us “small” or unwilling to test ourselves, try new things or pursue our dreams.  You hear limiting beliefs all the time in conversations about thwarted possibilities:
    • “I’m too old to go back to college!”
    • “I’m too young to think about saving for retirement!”
    • “We can’t afford to travel, that’s for rich people!”
    • “I can’t lose weight, I’ve tried for a lifetime, nothing works for me!”

Limiting beliefs shut things down. Empowering beliefs open things up!

  • Opportunities – we don’t all encounter the exact same opportunities in life.  You may choose to assume that because your opportunities have been different than those of other people, your accomplishments will also be limited or somehow determined by that.  But most of us who love our lives have figured out create opportunities.  We’ve learned to ask for help, share our dreams, imagine a future different from our past or simply ask ourselves, “Why not…?”
  • Adversities – these are all the events that invite use to demonstrate our character. They are the HARD things in life, the natural disaster, the highway crash, the house fire, the death in the family.  These are the things that shape us based on how we choose to encounter them (again, I am writing about adults here). Dreadful things happen in life that can leave us with some serious limitations on our choices moving forward, but the life you lead after the encounter with adversity is the one that reveals who you really are!

So, what’s holding you back from Loving Your Life? Is it some decision you need to correct (yes, course-corrections are big decisions too, but often worth the effort)? Is it some choice you keep repeating that has you in a groove, a way-of-being your don’t enjoy or even want anymore?  Is it some belief you hold that prevents you from pursuing something that could be life-changing? Is it some opportunity you think you’ve missed, or you think it has passed you by, never to be encountered again?  Or, finally, is it some adversity that left you scarred or angry, convinced that you can’t recover or can’t find a purposeful path?  Any of these can get in the way of building the life you love!

What would allow you to Love Your Life?  I urge you to ask yourself the question, especially if you’re unhappy with your current way of living. What change could put you on a path to joy? What simple changes might give you a fresh perspective, allow you to find new opportunities or help you finally overcome that adversity that’s kept you down?

I wish for you a Life you Love! Please let me know if I can help you pursue that journey. It isn’t easy to be a master-craftsman in life, but identifying the changes you want to make can put you on a path toward happiness.

Self-care is every conscious action you take that feeds your soul, nourishes your body, nurtures your spirit, or replenishes your relationship with yourself!

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About Paula

I help other caregivers – both professionals and family caregivers – acknowledge their pain and learn to practice the many small skills of self-care that can sustain them through the challenges of wholeheartedly caring for others.

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How Can I Help You?

Through Co-Create 4 Life, you will learn a range of well-being strategies from skillfully implementing self-care to holistic approaches to well-being, rebuilding resilience, and battling burnout. Book a free consultation call today to discuss your options.

How Can I Help You?

Through Co-Create 4 Life, you will learn a range of well-being strategies from skillfully implementing self-care to holistic approaches to well-being, rebuilding resilience, and battling burnout. Book a free consultation call today to discuss your options.