Ask for what you need, it increases the probability you’ll get it. . .


This is an adage offered to me by a mentor over 30 years ago. Since then, I’ve learned never to be bashful in asking for what I need, nor am I reluctant (anymore) to offer what I have to contribute.  This is how relationships work and grow and develop – people offering to help other people who are able to articulate their needs. 

This week, I took my own advice; I asked for help!  My husband is coming home (having suffered a stroke and achieved an amazing level of recovery!) and I know, life in our house will not be “business as usual” once he is home.  I don’t know exactly what I will need, or precisely what he will need by this time next week, let alone how those needs may change in the coming weeks or months. What I do know is that I cannot manage this alone! 

In my book (published last summer) I wrote about our lives, “I am not with him all day, every day, and certainly not his sole, 24/7, caregiver. There are others on our “care team” who shoulder some of the load. As his needs increase, this team will change and grow. I recognize that it is not a job I am able or even willing to do alone. Like so many things in life, it takes a village” (Forte, 2019, p. xx).

One of the things any family caregiver must do is recognize condition changes that need to be addressed. And, when we do spot changes that need to be made, we must NOT assume we need to tackle them alone. Realizing this, I reached out to my network of friends, my correspondents with the Universe, who, together know so many more people than I do alone.  I asked for their wisdom on finding one or more caregivers who will help me manage the many situations to come. 

In the space of five days I received ideas and leads, names and possibilities so quickly I could hardly imagine so much help might be available! It is yet another reflection of the abundance that surrounds us all, if we only acknowledge it, ask for it to visit us and recognize it when it arrives!  I will need many helpers in the weeks and months ahead, my world is changing quickly, but I am confident, when I ask for what I need, it manifests in front of me with reassuring bounty!

What are you asking for as 2020 approaches?


Forte, P. (2019). Self-Care Strategies for Family Caregivers. Xlibris, Indianapolis, IN.

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