Self-Care is Simple, not Easy!

Most people I talk to about self-care (clients, neighbors, friends & colleagues) want to complicate self-care by making it difficult. “I can’t take care of myself right now because I’d have to. . .

Quit my job and I’m in no financial position to do that – too extreme!
Go on an exotic spa retreat to de-tox and re-set my nervous system – too extravagant!
Get up earlier than I already do and get to the gym before I go to work – too hard!

But what if self-care could genuinely be SIMPLE? What if we took a few small steps toward better self-care that aren’t really hard, how would that change our lives?

These small, intentional steps are about making small changes that move us toward a new approach to self-care, born of self-compassion! Self-compassion (showing that same level of patience, concern, and kindness toward ourselves that we would easily extend toward a dear friend) is the key to finding what I call, “Your Enough” – a measure only YOU can define.

Finding “Your Enough” is key to creating a workable, intentional, and consistent self-care plan. Here’s a simple, three-step (small steps) plan I use to upgrade MY self-care plan. Answer these questions to steer your decisions about making modest changes for the better in your life. . .

What small change would genuinely serve me at this time?
What benefits would I derive from making this change?
What details do I need to wrap around this intentional change to make it “stick”?

For me, a recent set of answers to these questions looked like this. . .

Better, more solid & consistent SLEEP would serve me right now!
I would be more well-rested, less cranky, and generally a healthier person if I invested in better sleep habits
The top three things I need to do to make this happen are:
1. Move us to separate beds (hubby is a big part of my sleep disruption).
2. Upgrade our mattresses.
3. Get myself into bed (if not fully asleep) earlier in the evening!

Self-care is every conscious action you take that feeds your soul, nourishes your body, nurtures your spirit, or replenishes your relationship with yourself!

I took my own advice. . .and, in spite of a supply-chain shortage and the challenges of hiring workers to dismantle our bedroom and assemble two new twin beds for our bedroom (all this took most of the winter to arrange), things are much better now! I’m sleeping through the night, waking up (without an alarm clock) at precisely 6:30 AM each day, and feeling significantly more well-rested.

What small steps might YOU take, without complete disruption of your life, that would make your life better? What simple self-care strategy do you need to embrace and get underway, even in the midst of your already-busy life?

Answer those three questions and see what percolates in your mind. What captures your attention as the most immediate changes you might make that could genuinely serve you? The answers might surprise you. The plan may be a little complex. Self-care may require some diligence and intentionality on your part, but it is so very much worth the effort!

Self-care doesn’t need to be difficult or exotic. It can be as simple as making a plan and carrying it out. You can do this. You have the capacity to create meaningful change in your life! Let me know if I can help!

About Paula

I help other caregivers – both professionals and family caregivers – acknowledge their pain and learn to practice the many small skills of self-care that can sustain them through the challenges of wholeheartedly caring for others.

Recent Posts

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Taking Advantage of a Long, Holiday Weekend. . .

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Even as Americans discuss the advantages of the four-day work-week, thanks to Representative Mark Takano, D-Calif., who introduced legislation which, if it passes, would reduce the standard workweek to 32 hours instead of 40, we’re also working more hours than ever.

The Guardian reports that compared with other countries, the American workplace record is not good. “In 2021, American employees worked 184 more hours than Japanese workers, 294 more hours than British workers, and 442 more hours than German workers. Unbelievably, in 2023 there are millions of Americans who work at jobs with no vacation time” (The Guardian).

You’ll Never Walk Alone. . .

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Since its first recording, by Frank Sinatra in 1945, “You’ll Never Walk Alone” has been reinterpreted by many musicians, perhaps most recently by Josh Groban in 2015. Its lyrics are formed by a relatively short, 17-line poem, written as a song by Rogers & Hammerstein for musical Carousel.

This song reminds me so much of the nature of my work – certainly, when clients come to me they often feel VERY alone and completely overwhelmed by the caregiver roles they fill. This is true whether they are parents of a special-needs-child or the sole caregiver for a spouse with dementia. That sense of being alone is, in itself, depressing.

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Measuring Progress Can Help. . .

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I’m working with a Health Coach myself (yes, even coaches need coaches!) who seems to appreciate my need to measure things. I’m one of those people who likes to see measurable improvement – to choose metrics that allow me to demonstrate progress, if not full completion, of a goal.

Sometimes, especially if we’re working on goals that feel particularly difficult, it can be important to at least see movement in the desired direction. Most of us can appreciate the fulfillment of getting to the finish line of a quick sprint, like the 100-yard-dash. But when you’re in a marathon you need benchmarks along the way to remind you that you’re actually doing it, and that the end will come, even if you can’t see it from your current spot on the route. That’s where metrics come in handy!

Through Co-Create 4 Life, you will learn a range of well-being strategies from skillfully implementing self-care to holistic approaches to well-being, rebuilding resilience, and battling burnout. Book a free consultation call today to discuss your options.