For those of you who lead “normal” lives – lives that aren’t built around the needs of other people with serious limitations – the idea of taking a road trip probably sounds entirely ordinary. But for a full-time caregiver (like me), the logistics associated with the notion of getting into a car, spending several hours in that confined space, transporting our life (with all the necessary belongings) to a hotel, spending the night, and enjoying a different expanse of scenery is entirely foreign!
I haven’t been on a real vacation (the kind that involves an airplane) in eight years. And, I haven’t been on a business trip, like a conference, in person, in over five years. That’s because, for me to be absent from home, requires someone else to take on the work of supervising and managing my husband’s life – in all its details, from medications to meals to mental disorder (he has dementia). Finding someone who can and will do that is enormously challenging.
So, I put it out to the Universe earlier this year, that I really, really wanted to take three business trips, to visit client sites across Minnesota.
This seemingly impossible request would require finding a caregiver in each of three sites (Luverne, MN; Fergus Falls, MN & Silver Bay, MN) to look after the needs of my husband while I took a day to visit with clients. I had absolutely no idea how I would be able to arrange such a constellation of circumstances so that I could actually make these trips.
But I trusted the Universe to have my back and simply committed to the assumption that everything would work out in the end. And, so far, it has worked out amazingly well! The journey isn’t over yet, I have one trip down, two more to go, but I’m far more confident now than I was several months ago that they’ll actually be completed and, without too much chaos or confusion – I am truly grateful!
I learned long ago that there are three rules for any life-traveler walking a spiritual path. . .
- Be true to yourself (be authentic, don’t compromise your values).
- Don’t make assumptions – you’ll likely be wrong.
- Ask for what you need; It increases the probability of getting it!
In the case of my really, really wanting to make these trips, all three rules proved true –
- My authentic self knew that making these in-person connections were essential to my work.
- I couldn’t assume that because the logistics seemed impossible that it couldn’t be done.
- I absolutely needed to ASK – to put the word out to everyone I knew – for help in making these trips; it would be a colossal undertaking, given my husband’s needs.
How is it possible that I’m making all three trips? The Universe (and some amazing friends) stepped up to make it so. A friend with a farm near Fergus Falls took my husband there for the day, so I could be with my client. Another friend, willing to take the day off and travel with me to the Southwest corner of the state, will entertain my husband for a day, so I can be with that client. And a third friend, who lives in Duluth, will look after his needs for a day on the North Shore while I journey another hour north, to spend that day with my third client – amazing!
What do you really, really want in your life?
- Are you willing to speak your truth, honestly and authentically?
- Can you let go of your assumptions (that can never happen, no one would help me with that, there’s no way I can. . .)and trust a higher power to meet your needs?
- Will you be humble enough to ask for what you need, and allow all the forces of fortune to come to your aid, and answer your request?
Sometimes it is true, to paraphrase the book of James, Chapter 4, Verse 2, we simply “have not because we ask not.” We are quick to forget that love can find a way!
What might change in our lives if we were brave enough to ask for what we really, really want?
Are you ready to stop complaining about what you DON’T have; to stop whining about what’s MISSING in your life; to let go of the assumption that “It will NEVER happen for me!”?
Are you ready to get honest, authentic, and connected to your core values enough to ask for what you need, and trust that you don’t have to see the whole path in order to take the next steps?
Even when it seems impossible – it’s important to remember, love can find a way. Your heart’s desire is not out of reach, it may just become available to you in ways you could never have imagined!
Wishing your dreams may all come true!