Blog

You are not alone! Learn more about the topics Co-Create 4 Life specializes in through our educational blog. From arguing with your inner critic to a loving and kindness meditation, you can find various resources to help you along your caregiving journey.

Woman enjoying the scenery on her road trip

Taking Advantage of a Long, Holiday Weekend. . .

Even as Americans discuss the advantages of the four-day work-week, thanks to Representative Mark Takano, D-Calif., who introduced legislation which, if it passes, would reduce the standard workweek to 32 hours instead of 40, we’re also working more hours than ever.

The Guardian reports that compared with other countries, the American workplace record is not good. “In 2021, American employees worked 184 more hours than Japanese workers, 294 more hours than British workers, and 442 more hours than German workers. Unbelievably, in 2023 there are millions of Americans who work at jobs with no vacation time” (The Guardian).

READ MORE »
You'll never walk alone song lyrics

You’ll Never Walk Alone. . .

Since its first recording, by Frank Sinatra in 1945, “You’ll Never Walk Alone” has been reinterpreted by many musicians, perhaps most recently by Josh Groban in 2015. Its lyrics are formed by a relatively short, 17-line poem, written as a song by Rogers & Hammerstein for musical Carousel.

This song reminds me so much of the nature of my work – certainly, when clients come to me they often feel VERY alone and completely overwhelmed by the caregiver roles they fill. This is true whether they are parents of a special-needs-child or the sole caregiver for a spouse with dementia. That sense of being alone is, in itself, depressing.

READ MORE »
Women running past finish line at marathon

Measuring Progress Can Help. . .

I’m working with a Health Coach myself (yes, even coaches need coaches!) who seems to appreciate my need to measure things. I’m one of those people who likes to see measurable improvement – to choose metrics that allow me to demonstrate progress, if not full completion, of a goal.

Sometimes, especially if we’re working on goals that feel particularly difficult, it can be important to at least see movement in the desired direction. Most of us can appreciate the fulfillment of getting to the finish line of a quick sprint, like the 100-yard-dash. But when you’re in a marathon you need benchmarks along the way to remind you that you’re actually doing it, and that the end will come, even if you can’t see it from your current spot on the route. That’s where metrics come in handy!

READ MORE »
Cute cat laying on floor

When Grief, Like a River. . .

There’s an old hymn that I remember from my childhood – it was popularized by George Beverly Shea, a soloist who toured with the famous 1950s evangelist, Billy Graham – and this was the opening line, When grief, like a river attendeth my way, when sorrow like sea-billows roll. . .

Well, once again, I find myself writing about grief because it seems to surround me right now, and I’m reminded that it may also be surrounding some of you. We face losses big and small throughout life but sometimes, they seem to galvanize our attention and fill us with a sense of sadness that can’t be set aside.

READ MORE »
Kitten sleeping on steps

What’s Sleep Got To Do With It?

Sleep is a regulated biological function, part of the body’s homeostasis, universally experienced as a state of unawareness, in which most of us will spend nearly one-third of our lives. It affects our lives on many levels and touches so many other bodily functions that when it is disrupted, we can be left with very serious deficits.

In the USA, nearly 25% of the population complains of some kind of sleep disturbance. Shift-workers are prone to have their circadian rhythm disrupted especially if they must rotate shifts. And, sleep disturbances can lead to many other problems, including public health issues when so many of us are also trying to drive while sleep-deprived!

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Woman doing some exercises

Where your mind goes when your body is exercising. . .

I can’t know what it is like for you, but for me, there is always the tendency to dissociate my head and body if given the opportunity to do so. It is a habit learned long ago that probably served me well in childhood, but at this time in my life, it is important to move beyond that habit!

Mindfulness hasn’t come easily to me, but I know how to be mindful, and I work to make it my preferred way of being on a daily basis. That said, there are some distinct occasions when I notice my capacity for mindfulness waivers. One of those times is during exercise.

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Beautiful picnic to read a book

REAL Self-Care!

You know I love to read and, of course, I have a book recommendation for you: Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included) by Pooja Lakshmin.

This book just came out this spring – in fact, March 14th was its debut (I pre-ordered my copy!). I’m excited about it because of a podcast I heard on National Public Radio’s 1A, with interviews facilitated by journalist Jen White, who has a storied career for interviewing celebrities we’d all recognize like Oprah, Obama and now, Pooja Lakshmin

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Heart cookie to show love

Claiming Abundance. . .

Often, at the beginning of a new year, I claim an intention for my life and my work – I ask the Universe to notice what I’m up to and to bless me with something amazing that I couldn’t ordinarily accomplish by myself.

At the start of this year, I put out an intention, a simple statement about what I was counting on for the upcoming months, that intention was ABUNDANCE

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Beautiful spring flowers

Believing in the promise of spring. . .

Even though we live in Minnesota and we’ve hit the top-five snowiest winters on record, there is this elusive, exotic promise of spring that I so look forward to! Maybe you do too?

I imagine the burst of colors, the fragrance of nature’s beauty! I hope for the possibility that this year my efforts will flourish, and I will have a beautiful outdoor space to enjoy!

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Woman enjoying outdoors with her bike

Three levels of self-care pursuit. . .

I’ve discovered a lot about self-care in the years since I wrote my book, Self-Care Strategies for Family Caregivers. We need different things in our lives at different times or circumstances. Sometimes the most caring thing we can do for ourselves is to sit with our feelings, to be self-compassionate, or to take a well-deserved nap.

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Woman riding train smiling at her phone

Building Healthy Boundaries

I emailed a friend this week and got an immediate response that at first seemed like it was a typical “out-of-office” email, but it was even better. The email said, “I’ve stepped away from my electronic devices today and will respond to you in a day or so when I reconnect.”

What a healthy boundary to set for yourself! To simply put your devices aside (for a day, maybe a weekend) and allow yourself the calm and quiet of an uninterrupted period of time for anything you need, creativity, in-person connections, rest – the possibilities are endless!

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Cupcake for a birthday celebration

Counting the gains. . .

I just celebrated a birthday. It wasn’t one of the “big” birthdays (like 50, when you feel life’s half over or 65 when you need to sign up for Medicare or 75 when, I presume you take stock of what “old” is supposed to feel like) it was just an ordinary birthday.

It did however make me pause and take stock of my life, what I’m up to, what I’m accomplishing (or avoiding) and where I had hoped to be a year ago vs. where I find myself today. It was a way of counting the gains – a way of asking what have I really added to my life over the last year?

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Woman learning something new

Sometimes, I just feel “stuck.”

I hear this from clients, “Sometimes, I just feel stuck.” But if I’m going to be honest, sometimes I hear myself saying it as well. You wouldn’t think a coach would get “stuck” but we do – it’s a human thing. Everyone reaches some point in their life when the path forward isn’t clear and questions arise about what to do (or where to go) next.

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Child having a great time making snow angels

The Gift of Time. . .

I have to admit that, even though I knew to expect snow (a blizzard, really) this week and I realized that a number of regularly scheduled things would be closed or canceled because of it, I was still somehow unprepared for the “gift of time” that came my way.

I was all set to stay indoors, I’d gone to the grocery store, stocked up on the essentials for the week, and managed my appointments. I knew the snow was coming and that I didn’t want to be out driving in it if I didn’t need to be. But what I didn’t count on was HOW I’d use the extra time that was suddenly available to me! I entered the snowstorm week unprepared to manage my time!

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Male focused working on something on his desk

Attributes Every Caregiver Needs: Gratitude, Grace & Grit

I haven’t focused on Gratitude as a theme since November (Thanksgiving) of last year, but I want to return to it today because I am definitely noticing how much I have to be grateful for and I’m hoping this is true for you as well.

Grace is not a theme we’ve touched on here (at least, I don’t recall it) and I’m reminded by a dear Jewish friend that the word itself is tied up in Christian origins, so that may be the reason we don’t talk about it much – it’s not a part of the common lexicon but starting today I’m hoping it will be.

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First responders helping person in crisis

Sometimes it takes crisis to create change…

I really hate to admit this, but sometimes, we humans can’t even approach the thought of a much-needed change in our lives unless and until a crisis occurs. I see this with clients all the time, they might be caring for a loved one who desperately needs assisted living or even memory-care placement, but that individual wants nothing to do with such a change in their life – it feels like too much choice, autonomy and freedom would be ripped away. So, they resist.

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Woman leaning on wall with hand on head

Thinking so much, sometimes my brain hurts!

If you’re the primary thinker and doer in your household, I want you to know I completely understand how exhausted and worn-down you might feel.  I urge you to consider my three-part remedy because whatever makes YOUR life easier, will inevitably make your loved-one’s life better! Simplifying your plans, your tasks and your routines can only serve to make your burden lighter.

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Cup of coffee and flower

Self-Care, Even When You Don’t Feel Like It!

We also invent reasons for avoiding self-care, sometimes because we’ve confused self-care with pampering or self-indulgence (as might be the case with the nail scenario above). Self-care isn’t simply about making ourselves feel important (worthy?) or comfortable, or attractive – self-care is about consciously taking action to feed the soul, nourish the body, nurture the spirit and most of all, replenish the relationship we’re building with ourselves!

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The words "Fall seven times stand up eight" spelled out for inspiration

Creating Calm, Even When Your Day Gets Hi-Jacked. . .

It was a beautiful winter day; all was going remarkably well! As a caregiver, you know to spot these days, to cherish them and appreciate that they may not be frequent experiences in your week or even your month.  This was one of those days, lovely in every respect.

READ MORE »

About Paula

I help other caregivers – both professionals and family caregivers – acknowledge their pain and learn to practice the many small skills of self-care that can sustain them through the challenges of wholeheartedly caring for others.

Popular Posts

Woman enjoying the scenery on her road trip
Coach

Taking Advantage of a Long, Holiday Weekend. . .

Even as Americans discuss the advantages of the four-day work-week, thanks to Representative Mark Takano, D-Calif., who introduced legislation which, if it passes, would reduce the standard workweek to 32 hours instead of 40, we’re also working more hours than ever.

The Guardian reports that compared with other countries, the American workplace record is not good. “In 2021, American employees worked 184 more hours than Japanese workers, 294 more hours than British workers, and 442 more hours than German workers. Unbelievably, in 2023 there are millions of Americans who work at jobs with no vacation time” (The Guardian).

Read More →
You'll never walk alone song lyrics
Coach

You’ll Never Walk Alone. . .

Since its first recording, by Frank Sinatra in 1945, “You’ll Never Walk Alone” has been reinterpreted by many musicians, perhaps most recently by Josh Groban in 2015. Its lyrics are formed by a relatively short, 17-line poem, written as a song by Rogers & Hammerstein for musical Carousel.

This song reminds me so much of the nature of my work – certainly, when clients come to me they often feel VERY alone and completely overwhelmed by the caregiver roles they fill. This is true whether they are parents of a special-needs-child or the sole caregiver for a spouse with dementia. That sense of being alone is, in itself, depressing.

Read More →
Women running past finish line at marathon
Coach

Measuring Progress Can Help. . .

I’m working with a Health Coach myself (yes, even coaches need coaches!) who seems to appreciate my need to measure things. I’m one of those people who likes to see measurable improvement – to choose metrics that allow me to demonstrate progress, if not full completion, of a goal.

Sometimes, especially if we’re working on goals that feel particularly difficult, it can be important to at least see movement in the desired direction. Most of us can appreciate the fulfillment of getting to the finish line of a quick sprint, like the 100-yard-dash. But when you’re in a marathon you need benchmarks along the way to remind you that you’re actually doing it, and that the end will come, even if you can’t see it from your current spot on the route. That’s where metrics come in handy!

Read More →
Cute cat laying on floor
Coach

When Grief, Like a River. . .

There’s an old hymn that I remember from my childhood – it was popularized by George Beverly Shea, a soloist who toured with the famous 1950s evangelist, Billy Graham – and this was the opening line, When grief, like a river attendeth my way, when sorrow like sea-billows roll. . .

Well, once again, I find myself writing about grief because it seems to surround me right now, and I’m reminded that it may also be surrounding some of you. We face losses big and small throughout life but sometimes, they seem to galvanize our attention and fill us with a sense of sadness that can’t be set aside.

Read More →
How Can I Help You?

Through Co-Create 4 Life, you will learn a range of well-being strategies from skillfully implementing self-care to holistic approaches to well-being, rebuilding resilience, and battling burnout. Book a free consultation call today to discuss your options.

How Can I Help You?

Through Co-Create 4 Life, you will learn a range of well-being strategies from skillfully implementing self-care to holistic approaches to well-being, rebuilding resilience, and battling burnout. Book a free consultation call today to discuss your options.